Murphy and Me

“Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.”

That’s Murphy’s Law.

Named after Capt. Edward A. Murphy, an engineer working on a project designed to see how much sudden deceleration a person can stand in a crash, Murphy’s Law and its corollaries explain why sh*t happens and causes the angst in our lives.

Like this, for example:

We purchased a 2012 Ford S-Max from a dealer’s lot in Cascais (two hours from where we live in Portugal) with the standard, required, one-year guarantee.

Soon, both the “Engine Malfunction” and “Traction Control” warning lights came on, as the minivan lost almost all power.

Murphy’s Corollary #1: “Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first.”

We pulled off to the side and searched the manual downloaded earlier to our mobile (after discovering the printed manual in the glove box was purely in Portuguese. Even the diagrams!). In English, we read that the instrument cluster warning symbols alerted us to “stop driving and seek immediate assistance from a properly trained technician.”

Immediately, we eased the car into a nearby underground parking area and left it there, locked.

Friends drove us home.

Murphy’s Corollary #2: “Nothing is as easy as it looks.”

Not knowing anything about the technicalities and legalities that govern guarantees provided by (commercial) dealers selling used vehicles here in Portugal, we went online and Googled the Internet.

It didn’t take long to discover some interesting information on an official European Union “Your Europe” website page. The link is below.

“Q: If the product is defective, who is responsible for putting things right? A: The seller, even for purchases made on an internet platform.”

Yeah, right.

Murphy’s Corollary #3: “Everything takes longer than you think.”

It was Saturday. Both the auto dealership and our insurance agency were closed. Wouldn’t the weekend be when people had time to go shopping for cars and need insurance if they bought one?

Weird, huh? Welcome to Portugal!

We waited until Monday, then contacted the dealership in Cascais … our insurance agent … a towing company … the local Ford dealership to alert them we’d be bringing the vehicle to them for diagnosis … the area’s only rental car agency … and a taxi company, to pick us up and drive us around to all these places in Castelo Branco.

Murphy’s Corollary #4: “If there is a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.”

Later that day, the Ford technician contacted us with disturbing news: All four fuel injectors need to be replaced, at a cost of €1,500-€2,000. He attached an analysis and cost estimate to the email.

Murphy’s Corollary #5: “Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.”

We sent the report to the dealer who sold us and guaranteed the S-Max. We waited and waited for a reply. The dealer insisted that the repairs be made in Cascais … and that we arrange to have the vehicle towed there.

But the insurance company balked at towing it such a great distance.

Meanwhile, from the Ford dealership, we learned of other problems: When the mechanic opened the hood, he poked around and said to us, “The motor has rust. This is not good.” He could offer no assurance that we wouldn’t experience even more problems down the road.

Murphy’s Corollary #6: “If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.”

We contacted Cascais again, reviewing our experiences with the dealer and vehicle since purchasing it. Among them:

The day after we got it, the air conditioner wouldn’t work. Dealer said it was working when he drove the car to us. But a mechanic found only 10% of the “gas” necessary for the air conditioner to function. We paid €100 for the air conditioning system to be filled with gas and recharged.

Murphy’s Corollary #7: “Nature always sides with the hidden flaw.”

We believe we’d been sold a defective vehicle.

Deliberately, perhaps.

After the sale, the dealer certainly wasn’t cooperative. In fact, we hadn’t even received our legal ownership papers for the S-Max!

If there are lessons to be learned here, I’d caution: (1) Be very careful when purchasing a car if the dealer isn’t a reputable, full-service dealership; (2) Never purchase a used vehicle until it’s been inspected by a qualified, objective mechanic; and (3) Buy a vehicle as close to home as possible.

We certainly appreciate all the ideas, input, opinions, and feedback received from concerned folks via Facebook.

So, add this corollary to Murphy’s law: “Post a problem on Facebook and people will *Like* something that’s terrible, comment with advice and admonishments, attribute any mistakes in what they’ve written to auto-correct, and insist that you’ve written too much.”

“Much ado about nothing?”

That’s William Shakespeare, not Murphy.

But between Murphy and me, the Bard never purchased a used car in Portugal!

europa.eu/youreurope/citizens/consumers/shopping/guarantees-returns/portugal/index_en.htm?fbclid=IwAR3whE93SFTqJLv1CRJpHkNMWuiGf–WBhuoJgPkp0qeVupNK3zXayUYz_Y

From EXPAT: Leaving the USA for Good. Available in hardcover, paperback, and ebook formats, please order your copies today from Amazon … or your preferred online bookseller.

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Férias for the French

It’s common knowledge that Paris and much of France shuts down for vacation in August.

What’s not that well-known is that many French people head to Spain and Portugal, where they visit their “poor” cousins, friends, and family members while enjoying down-home Portuguese and Spanish hospitality.

In other words, “férias!”

Throughout the month of August, those of us living in central Portugal cannot help but be bombarded by ubiquitous brightly-colored plastic bags hanging everywhere, imprinted with too many letters too small to read while driving, announcing this town’s férias … or that one’s.

Suddenly, little villages and larger towns are where it’s happening … with overpriced food cooked and eaten with flies al fresco, beer by the barrel or bottle, and second-string singers who – though advertised as famous – appear in our own little hamlets to entertain us.

Observes the Rev. António Vitalino in Reconquista, Beira Baixa’s regional religious newspaper, “Infelizmente não é apenas por causa da sua condiçao de ser peregrine, que o ser humano se desloca do torrã e do país onde nasceu. Mas também devido a guerras, a perseguições, a cataclismos e à fome.”*

Father Vitalino obviously overlooked or forgot about the férias!

Assuming, of course, that fires don’t disrupt the festivities, the férias change everything … for better and worse, beginning with the people. Overcapacity indulging is what turns community “festas” into férias.

Joyous occasions though these celebrations can be, they bring along with them troubles … and trash.Trash bins that barely can contain their own disposables now overflow, unable to close. More refuse in plastic bags continues to be added and placed on top of and next to the bins, where cats and dogs roaming the streets rip them open and feast of their entrails … leaving tracks of thrown-away food and decayed vittles throughout the village.

“Land mines” multiply, as an influx of immigrant dogs and cats that accompany adults and children are let loose to litter on our streets.

Capillaries barely capable of carrying – or accommodating – vehicles to begin with are suddenly overwhelmed beyond capacity. Cars are left wherever: in the middle of streets, at roundabouts and intersections, double- and triple-parked, anywhere and everywhere.

No room at the inn? Forget the inn. There’s no room for the locals at their own coffee shops and bars, a sacrilege greater than sin.

Hobbit houses otherwise abandoned the rest of the year are brimming, bulging, and bursting at their seams with visitors and far-away families. Adolescents aged from barely double-digits to teenagers and young adults – people who should know better – go carousing noisily through the streets at very early morning hours, while their elders desperately try to rest and sleep. There’s plenty of noise-making at these férias. From the babble of voices around communal tables, eating and drinking … to the spine-chilling feedback of rebellious sound amplifiers … too-late hijinks of intoxicated youngsters weaving their way through our streets … and the firecrackers, a bit too dangerous for these times of ferocious fires.

Just as férias can be good for one’s soul and community spirit, it’s also quite healthy to bypass the hustle-bustle for calm and tranquility.

Needless to say, this year is quite different.

Maybe for their own good — and ours — people will stay put?

*“Unfortunately it is not only because of their pilgrim condition that the human being moves from the torrent and the country where he was born. But also because of wars, persecution, cataclysms and famine.”

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Shared here are personal observations, experiences, and happenstance that actually occurred to us as we moved from the USA to begin a new life in Portugal and Spain. Collected and compiled in EXPAT: Leaving the USA for Good, the book is available in hardcover, paperback, and eBook editions from Amazon and most online booksellers.

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Dirty Water and Other Cravings

Undoubtedly, I’m going to be crucified for my confessions here, so be my guest … skip to the end of this piece … and give it your best shot.

“What do you miss most from the USA?” I’m frequently asked.

That’s changed quite a bit since living in Portugal and Spain almost four years; but, originally, leading my list was American-style coffee.

You know: what the locals, especially, refer to as “dirty water.”

Coffee is almost a religion in Portugal; but unlike religion, it’s worshiped daily here. Both the Portuguese and Spanish are addicted to their bold beverage, which they drink from early in the morning until late at night. From black Espresso Intenso to Ristretto Ardenza, the consistency of Iberian coffee seemed more like motor oil to me than the “pish” water we Americans drink and consider caffeine.

No, I wasn’t looking for that over-priced, sugary, syrupy Starbucks stuff that’s more like make-believe ice cream dressed up as coffee, but something more akin to my mellow-morning-medium-roast-breakfast-blend: Folgers, Maxwell House, Chock Full O’Nuts, even Costco’s Kirkland brand.

Anything but “instant.”

Along with the coffee, I yearned for my Keurig coffee maker. Nescafé (clutching my pearls!) makes something like it, known as “Dolce Gusto,” but it’s just not the same. Besides, the polluting plastic pods (Nescafé produces them for the Dolce Gusto) are more java-jolting than Green Mountain’s, whose name, at least, implies environmentally-friendly.

So, we ditched the Dolce and, little by little, I adjusted to Portuguese (and Spanish) coffee. Actually, there are some “flavors” and brands that I really appreciate … even more than the American stuff I’ve abandoned. Especially the Sical blend. By the numbers, I guess I prefer those deemed 5, 6, or 7. Beyond that, the brews are too bitter and brash for my taste.

Having satisfied my need for a morning pick-me-up, what I miss most from the USA — apart from some people — is food.

Topping the chart is a real New York City Carnegie Deli-style sandwich piled high with spicy pastrami on rye bread with a shmear of mustard, some creamy cole slaw, a sour pickle, and cheese cake that adds pounds to your waistline just by admiring it. (Carnegie’s has closed, but similar fare has been available at Katz’s Delicatessen—since 1888!)

Oh, for Nathan’s “Coney Island” all-beef hot dogs heaped high with sauerkraut and plenty of mustard on a bun. Heck, given those turd-like specimens swimming about in slimy water that are sold in the stores here, I’d be happy with Hebrew National or even Ball Park franks.

Freshly-made bagels – even “plain” ones not already in plastic bags – though onion, garlic, cinnamon raison, asiago cheese, and “everything” bagels would be heaven sent … if they were more easily accessible across the Iberian peninsula.

And steaks! Hunger-hunkering slabs of beef, perfectly cut with just the right amount of fat. Filet Mignon. Porterhouse. Rib Eye. Strip steak, flank steak, even top sirloin! But, please, not those strange cuts of meat butchered in too many Portuguese churrasqueira restaurants.

I wonder whether those Kansas City mail order steak houses deliver to Portugal?

Other favorite foods that are hopefully hiding on shelves somewhere around these parts are a wide(r) variety and selection of salad dressings – not just mayonnaise, olive oil, and vinegar, along with a token “ranch” – and Tabasco-style hot sauces (anything but Piri-Piri!) for Bloody Marys and Sunday brunches. Add a dash of red (hot) pepper flakes to the list!

Yes, yes, yes, I know: Much of this stuff is available in Lisbon and Porto, Madrid and Barcelona, and other expat ghettos. Or online. But we live in more rural areas, where it’s just not available or to be found.

Restaurants, too, I miss.

Hey, we have a food court with pepperoni pizza and foot-long, all beef hot dogs at the Costco in Sevilla … and Swedish meatballs are plentiful at Ikea.

But, what I wouldn’t give for a Tex-Mex restaurant’s multi-page menu featuring variations on the taco and tortilla themes! They’re probably there in the larger, more tourist-oriented cities. But what about Thai restaurants? Where are they hiding, apart from on the back pages of our Chinese restaurant menus? Speaking of Asian food, a Japanese restaurant couldn’t hurt. Heck, sometimes I even grow nostalgic for IHOPs (although rumor has it their menu has changed from stacks of flapjacks and waffles to burgers and pizza), Baskin-Robbins, and Dunkin’ Donuts–which I just came across in my local Continente.

It’s not that some of this stuff isn’t available here … just daring to be found. Expensive, too, at times. But we don’t live along the coast where Lisbon, Porto, and Algarve cater to the appetites of English-speaking expats and immigrants. Yes, I know that many if not most of these delicacies can be found in these big cities, along with wonderful supermarkets like Aldi and the Corte Inglés.

They’re just not here, where we live, or within driving distance.

Lest anyone worry, rest assured that we’re doing fine – really well – with what we do have here. And what we don’t have? We probably don’t need it, anyway. We’re still newbies, who are adjusting. Especially to all those flies attracted by food eaten al fresco!

After all, we do have with the coffee.

Despite being serious business in Portugal and Spain – an amphetamine and aphrodisiac of the gods to some – to me, coffee is just a morning beverage that’s sometimes enjoyed at the end of a good meal.

Blasphemy! Sacrilege! Heresy!

Now, let the carnage continue.

Shared here are personal observations, experiences, and happenstance that actually occurred to us as we moved from the USA to begin a new life in Portugal and Spain. Collected and compiled in EXPAT: Leaving the USA for Good, the book is available in hardcover, paperback, and eBook editions from Amazon and most online booksellers.

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Sunday Sermon: 26/07/2020

‘How much are you selling the eggs for?’ the rich woman asked.

The old seller replied, ‘Twenty-five cents an egg, Madam.’

The old seller replied, ‘Come take them at the price you want. Maybe, this is a good beginning because I have not been able to sell even a single egg today.’

She said to him, ‘I will take 6 eggs for $1.25 or I will leave.’

She took the eggs and walked away feeling she had won. She got into her fancy car and went to a posh restaurant with her friend. There, she and her friend, ordered whatever they liked. They ate a little and left a lot of what they ordered. Then she went to pay the bill: $45.00 She gave $50.00 and told the owner of the restaurant to keep the change.

This incident might have been not unusual for the restaurant owner, but very painful to the poor egg seller.

The point is:

Why do we always need to show that we have the power when we buy from the needy? And why are we generous to those who don’t need our generosity?

I once read somewhere:

‘My father used to buy simple goods from poor people at rather high prices, even though he did not need them. Sometimes he even paid extra for them. I was curious about this and asked him why he did this? My father replied, “It is a charity wrapped with dignity, my child”.’

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Without a prescribed religious service or liturgy, People of Faith Online Congregation has no creeds, confessions, or collections … no pulpits, pews, or processionals … no altar calls, prosperity preaching, damnation-orientation, celestial choirs, books that we worship, or “holier-than-thou” critics.

Instead, we’re a home-based, nondenominational online congregation that’s spiritual rather than religious, organic over organizational, personal beyond institutional, here-and-now oriented instead of hereafter.

From Portugal and Spain, we gather online to consider and celebrate the sacred journeys of our lives. All are welcomed, appreciated, and affirmed … no matter where in the world you are located!

Whether you’ve attended church (but feel alienated), or if you’d enjoy meeting other wayfarers seeking this type of progressive spiritual experience, please join us and other progressive people of faith. Here’s the link to our group on Facebook:

www.facebook.com/groups/FaithCommunityOnline

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Franchising Tapas

When I was a younger man with more vim and vigor, earning more than my mere Social Security income, I seriously considered opening a franchised restaurant in Sturgeon Bay (Door County), Wisconsin.

Not another burger bunker, taco take-out, chicken coop, or sandwich shack. We had plenty of those already …

Analyzing the market for what might make a successful enterprise, I believed that a Noodles and Company franchise – combining various pastas, sauces, and toppings in a mishmash of Italian, Thai, Chinese, American, and Vegetarian dishes – could be a winning recipe.

Fast food, savored slowly or gobbled quickly, at an affordable price!

We left Wisconsin for the European Union before nogging the noodles; but I remain convinced that an eatery like this could be quite profitable, catering to the consumers’ tastes.

Living in Spain and a Portugal border town, I now suspect that tapas may be the next big (little) global franchise for foodies.

Moreover, we could have umpteen variations on the theme: tapas españolas, tapas americanas, tapas francesas, tapas italianas, et al.

Tapas tend to be popular wherever they’re served and already are available in many places. My point here is that somewhere, some entrepreneur or fast food chain looking to expand, sometime soon, will recognize the commercial potential for franchising them … eliminating their unique tastes and variations on the theme by reducing them to their lowest common denominators.

Tapas aren’t particularly made for “take-out.” They’re more of a social experience in a sit-down together environment.

Tapas are:

Delicious. Satisfying every taste bud, tapas are smaller-sized versions of almost everything on the full-size menu. They typically come with a basket of bread (and/or breadsticks), olives, a side salad and/or chips (fries)

Healthy. Nutritionists and dieticians will attest that, not only are tapas a “balanced” meal, but their serving size portions are the amount we, ideally, should be eating at each sitting.

Social. Tapas are meant to be shared. Everyone around the table orders one or two, with enough to be shared around the table. Folks get to sample different dishes and discuss their observations over gossip and glad-handing.

Inexpensive. Away from the big cities, tapas typically range from €1.50 to €3.00 per serving (averaging about €2.50). And that includes all the extras: bread, small side salad and/or fries, olives, and other hors d’ouevres. With wine and beer costing less than water or soft drinks, add another euro or so for each beverage. Total bill for two tapas to share, two more tapas to be enjoyed independently, and two drinks per person: less than fifteen euros.

Diverse. Nearly everything on the complete menu is available as a tapa. Eat one or more of the same tapa – it’s also available in a double-size portion (“media ración”) or a full-size plate (ración) – or sample several goodies to delight.

Experiential. How often do we get to try something different, something we may find delicious (or not), by sampling it in a smaller size at a bottom-line price? From meats and poultry to fish and seafood, cheeses and wraps or soups and salads, tapa economics are as incalculable as their substance and variations!

And, since we all deserve a break today, tapas allow us to eat fresh, make it great, and have the food our way.

Now, that’s thinking outside the bun!

Shared here are personal observations, experiences, and happenstance that actually occurred to us as we moved from the USA to begin a new life in Portugal and Spain. Collected and compiled in EXPAT: Leaving the USA for Good, the book is available in hardcover, paperback, and eBook editions from Amazon and most online booksellers.

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Making a Difference from Abroad

“But, you left.”

“It’s not your country. You don’t live here anymore.”

“Why do you even care?”

“Anyway, what can you do from over there?”

For one reason or another, sooner or later, directly or indirectly, expats and immigrants are bound to hear comments such as these … especially on Facebook … because people don’t understand our decision or desire to live outside the USA.

Some people don’t; others won’t; many just can’t.

Yet estimates put the number of USA citizens residing internationally between six and nine million. According to a January 2019 Gallup poll, that number is increasing, as the emigrant exodus continues to climb under the Trump Administration.

Ironically, we left a country in the throes of battles over immigrants … to find ourselves now as the immigrants in another land: for many of us, that’s Portugal and/or Spain!

Moving elsewhere doesn’t sever one’s ties to the motherland. We can cut the umbilical cord; but never will we be detached from cares and concerns about our country, no matter where we may live. We remain U.S. citizens, albeit residing officially outside the USA.

Some people want nothing more to do with the increasingly belligerent partisan politics in the USA (or the UK … and elsewhere, for that matter). Others, however, are every bit as involved and engaged in the battle to form a “more perfect union” from this side of the great divide.

To answer those questions posed at the beginning of this post, expats actually can make a real difference in the USA from abroad:

 Contributing our time, talents, and resources to people and organizations we believe can make things better;

 Volunteering our efforts to help staff offices, make calls, translate, or moderate online forums dealing with citizenship matters;

 Writing letters to the editors of newspapers and magazines, websites and blogs, based in the USA and worldwide;

 Posting, commenting, responding, and sharing diplomatically on the “social” media;

 Sending emails and faxes to our “representatives” in the USA, informing them of our perspectives regarding matters of consequence and importance;

 Joining and participating in expat groups that represent our interests … maybe, even marching and rallying to show our solidarity with others who believe as we do;

 Most importantly, however: voting and doing everything possible to encourage others – whether in the USA or living abroad – to register and vote, too.

We’re involved “back home” as registered overseas voters.

Registering to vote overseas really is quite easy:

Simply go to either the website established by federal law, fvap.gov, or the Democratic Vote from Abroad’s website (votefromabroad.org) and register. They’ll take care of the rest.

According to USA law, Americans abroad continue to vote in the last jurisdiction where they lived and were registered to vote.

For us, every time there’s an election in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin, we receive a ballot attached to an email from the city’s Clerk of the Court. We complete our ballots and mail them back (well before the designated deadline!) to Sturgeon Bay. By law, our ballots must be counted with all those during “early” voting and/or on Election Day.

“You can take the boy out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the boy,” is a statement published over one hundred years ago in The Country Gentleman’s May 16, 1914 issue.

Truer, more relevant words have yet to be written (or spoken) for those of us living internationally.

Shared here are personal observations, experiences, and happenstance that actually occurred to us as we moved from the USA to begin a new life in Portugal and Spain. Collected and compiled in EXPAT: Leaving the USA for Good, the book is available in hardcover, paperback, and eBook editions from Amazon and most online booksellers.

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Tips on Gratuities

Now, here’s a sensitive topic if there ever was one: tipping.

That extra “something” provided to (certain) people who provide services to us: waiters and waitresses, barbers and hair stylists, guides, helpers and assistants working for contractors you’re paying directly.

I’ve asked the question(s) many times of lots of people. And plenty, in turn, have asked me: Do you tip? Who(m)? Where? How much?

Unlike USA workers in some industries and trades, tips aren’t necessarily expected by their counterparts in Portugal and Spain.

But they’re surely appreciated … especially if unanticipated.

There’s a theoretical irony here in that a “tip,” according to reasonable references, was originally given “to insure promptness.” Promptness? Doesn’t that go against the grain here in Portugal and Spain?

But the reasons for gracious tipping these days go well beyond timing and promptness. They’re about the quality of service we receive.

Regardless of where they’re working or what they’re doing in their jobs, my understanding is that Portuguese and Spanish workers are entitled, at least, to the prevailing minimum wage. Restaurant workers in Spain receive at least the minimum wage, known as the Salario Mínimo Interprofesional (SMI), which is set by the government and applies to all workers regardless of their sector, age, or gender. In 2025, the annual minimum wage is €16,576 (US $19,429.56), distributed in 14 payments. Restaurant workers in Portugal are also legally entitled to the national minimum wage, €870 ($1,019.77) per month in 2025.

Not so in the “colonies,” where restaurant and salon workers (among others) are paid a lower minimum wage, often not even earning a living wage that covers the basic costs of a life. For them, tips comprise a substantial portion of their income.

Despite the lower costs of some products and services here on the Iberia peninsula, I couldn’t live on those wages. Could you?

So, yes, I tip. Because I feel good when I can help and give a little extra.

But only for good and/or special service. And, usually, not to the owner or proprietor of a business, even if s/he is the one who is serving me … although, contrary to the conventional rule not to, I do tip taxi drivers who help me load and unload lots of baggage to and from airports.

Not everyone tips. They just don’t believe in it, as it’s not part of their culture, upbringing, and overall formation. If and when they do tip, it’s typically given as a token—but appreciated nonetheless.

Tipping has been one of those difficult adjustments for me to make, now that we live in Portugal and Spain.

While I am tempted to use the same rule of thumb that guided my gratuities in the USA – 20% for good service, 10-15% for acceptable, less for less – I am seeing how awkward even appreciative workers here may feel and react when given a tip based on these percentages.

On my restaurant tab of, say, 20 Euros, most service staff are delighted to receive a one Euro tip … they seem uncomfortable accepting three euros (15%) or four (20%). Evidently, the rule of thumb is 5% in restaurants here and 10% only if lots of plates are being changed. Similarly, my barber is very grateful when I give him (or her) a 50 cent or one euro tip on a charge ranging from €6-14. More often than not, a few coins are appropriate and thankfully welcomed. Especially for beer or wine, coffee, and “raciones” (tapas).

When you do tip, try to leave it directly for those who have served you. In cash (or coins), not on credit or debit cards, whose transaction fees and merchant charges will be deducted from your largesse.

Ultimately, tipping – like most perks and bonuses – is a judgment call.

There’s no right or wrong, no rules or standards set in stone.


My advice about tipping, therefore, is to do what feels right for you. Tip or don’t tip, whenever, wherever, whatever you believe is appropriate.

Shared here are personal observations, experiences, and happenstance that actually occurred to us as we moved from the USA to begin a new life in Portugal and Spain. Collected and compiled in EXPAT: Leaving the USA for Good, the book is available in hardcover, paperback, and eBook editions from Amazon and most online booksellers.

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Facebook Fadeout

Is Facebook taking a t/r/oll on you? Does it make you feel drained and angry, anxious and frustrated? Are its comforting factors – connecting with new and former friends, and participating in groups of people with like-minded interests – increasingly offset by a sense of opportunistic wariness and caution related to all those cookies it has collected about your online behavior?

Photo credit: JOEL SAGET/AFP/Getty Images



Facebook already knows my ways and means too well.

It has collected more than 5,000 “data points” on me. With not-so-subtle reminders, this hypnotic encourages me to compile and curate my favorite photos and moments, as it suggests groups, pages, and products which should be of interest to me, while it determines those memories I mustn’t forget. Especially birthdays and events, which it urges me to acknowledge and/or attend … along with the dates that others became my Facebook friends.

Facebook taps and whispers to me about posts other people, places, or “prophets” have published of which I should take notice. It reminds me when I have neglected to respond to someone or something. It pokes me with posts I’ve ignored and videos I should see on Facebook Watch, even as it decides whose thoughts or opinions I should especially consider.

That’s only the beginning …

Increasingly, Facebook is controlling our lives — both online and off — with its rules and regulations and unwarranted intrusions into our personal lives … aggregating data about us … and selling it to anyone (and everyone) who seeks to target us with promotions and unsolicited messages.

In addition to foreign intervention online, Donald Trump’s 2016 campaign used groups such as Cambridge Analytica to target voters. Potently criticized by investigative journalist Carole Cadwalladr, Cambridge Analytica used “furtively garnered Facebook data” to shape messages or “hack the minds” of American voters, as Christopher Wyle, a former employee who now has turned against the company, put it.

But, apart from profiteering, I tremble to think about potential sinister purposes and motives behind all this seduction.

My personal data and digital footprints are mine to share—not Facebook’s. And, although it’s probably already too late, I am going to take steps to monitor and minimize its influence on me.

What finally brought me to the end of my rope?

Facebook’s latest initiative:

“We limit how often you can post, comment or do other things in a given amount of time in order to help protect the community from spam. You can try again later.”

This message from Facebook appeared after I tried to update and keep the energy flowing on groups that I administer or moderate.

” … try again later”? It’s already been four days — four friggin’days! — since Facebook allowed me to post or participate in any of the more than a dozen diverse groups which I founded, cultivate, mediate, administer, and oversee!

Facebook is Pandora’s Box.

We think we’re without options or alternatives since, by finances and fiat, Facebook has become our lingua franca, force-feeding us what it has determined that we want and/or need.

But that’s no longer true anymore: there are alternatives to Facebook … it’s our own lethargy, convenience, and comfort with the status quo that cause us to hesitate about going where “no one (we know) has gone before—to take the road not taken onto a comparable yet competitive social medium platform.

Facebook demands, commands, and controls too much of our lives — our time and energy — using us rather than us using it. In fact and indeed, Facebook has grown too big for its britches!

Monopolies, especially Facebook, can be dangerous to all of us. Which is why, I believe, competition is essential—especially among the social media platforms.

The elderly (me!), especially, are enamored of Facebook’s ability to link friends new and old around the globe, while purporting to report what’s newsworthy near and far. It’s convenient and comfortable for us geezers, even when Facebook changed, added, or deleted stuff without informing us or explaining the changes and how to cope with them.

I am sick of being beholden to artificial intelligence for dictating the terms and the tempo, all while claiming to click and cajole!

The Wizard of Oz Facebook isn’t; it’s nowhere near that benevolent.

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Remembrances of Things Past: Moments of Hope in the Madness

Remember that scene from the 1976 movie Network, when news anchor Howard Beale (Peter Finch) cried, “We know things are bad — worse than bad. They’re crazy. It’s like everything everywhere is going crazy, so we don’t go out anymore. We sit in the house, and slowly the world we are living in is getting smaller, and all we say is: ‘Please, at least leave us alone in our living rooms. Let me have my toaster and my TV and my steel-belted radials and I won’t say anything. Just leave us alone.’ Well, I’m not gonna leave you alone. I want you to get MAD! I don’t know what to do about the depression and the inflation and the Russians and the crime in the street. All I know is that first, you’ve got to get mad! You’ve got to say: ‘I’m a human being, goddammit! My life has value!’ So, I want you to get up right now and go to the window, open it, and stick your head out, and yell: I’M AS MAD AS HELL, AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE THIS ANYMORE!”?

The murder of George Floyd by the foot of a Minneapolis cop while his buddies stood by nonchalantly gives rise to similar feelings of shock, grief, and anger … provoking our collective conscience, triggering marches and protests across the country and around the world.

Say some of their names: George Floyd. Rodney King. Breonna Taylor. Ahmaud Arbery. Eric Garner. Michael Brown. Tamir Rice. Freddie Gray. Sandra Bland. Philandro Castle. All African-Americans offed by white police officers. Let’s not forget others, like Trayvon Martin, murdered by self-appointed racist vigilantes. Each was a human whose life was taken prematurely and unjustly by powers-that-be.

Remember Rev. Al Sharpton’s words at Floyd’s funeral – “I can’t breathe” and “get your knee off our necks” – which painted a plaintive picture of the systemic racism, police brutality, cover-ups, and injustice suffered by Floyd, black people … and other American minorities?

George Floyd personifies the plight of black people in the USA. But he also reflects the oppression of all scapegoats, underdogs and social outcasts: Native Americans and indigenous people. Immigrants. Hispanics and Asians. Women. Jews and Muslims. LGBT persons. The poor, homeless, hungry, infirm, widows and orphans, even “middle-class” Americans unable to afford basic health care or better educate their children.

A pandemic has killed more than 110,000 people in three months in the USA. The economy is in recession, with tens of millions out of work. Protests against racial injustice in policing have broken out in hundreds of cities and towns across the country, with some provoking outrageous acts of police brutality and the risk of contributing to a resurgence of the coronavirus. At the center of the maelstrom is an incompetent, capricious, malicious president who cares about nothing but acting tough, protecting himself, and dividing the country.

Yesterday (June 9), Trump tweeted, “Buffalo protestor shoved by Police could be an ANTIFA provocateur. 75 year old Martin Gugino was pushed away after appearing to scan police communications in order to black out the equipment. I watched, he fell harder than was pushed. Was aiming scanner. Could be a set up?”

A set-up? Trump doesn’t know the meaning of “provocateur,” let alone how to spell it correctly. Whoever helped him write this conspiratorial message was determined to cast suspicion on a senior citizen we saw violently treated, head bleeding, and left fallen on the street. And then some …

When Trump’s guardian gatekeepers used weapons of warfare to clear the street by Lafayette Park of peaceful protestors for a photo op – just after he’d pontificated in the Rose Garden about weak governors and mayors needing to do away with demonstrators and “dominate” the streets – a few respected leaders had seen, heard, and experienced enough.

It was then, perhaps, that marches and moments became a movement—a referendum on Trump’s administration, Republican senators, and the soul of a nation:

• Colin Powell, former Secretary of State under President George W. Bush, announced that the president “has drifted away” from the Constitution and that he “lies all the time.”

• Trump’s own top military brass –Secretary of Defense Mark Eper and Mark Milley, Chair of the Joint Chiefs of Staff – spoke up and out, knowing well their Trumpian consequences.

• The defense secretary insisted military personnel “be used as a matter of last resort and only in the most urgent and dire of situations.”

• Milley, the nation’s top general and most senior military officer, reminded his soldiers of the rights of their fellow citizens to free assembly, adding: “We all committed our lives to the idea that is America–we will stay true to that oath and the American people.”

• But it was Trump’s former secretary of defense, James Mattis, whose rebuke cut deepest: “Donald Trump is the first president in my lifetime who does not try to unite the American people,” said Mattis. “Instead, he tries to divide us … We know that we are better than the abuse of executive authority that we witnessed in Lafayette Square. We must reject and hold accountable those in office who would make a mockery of our Constitution.”

The president wanted to fire Defense Secretary Mark Esper for not supporting his idea to use active-duty troops to quell protests; meanwhile, Trump Jr’s hunting trip in Mongolia last year cost American taxpayers nearly $77,000 in Secret Service costs alone.

Trump has gone too far, crossing the threshold of our national breaking point, publicly cursing those who (hitherto) had protected and shielded him—like his first former chief of staff, John Kelly, who said “I agree” with Mattis about Trump: “We need to look harder at who we elect.”

It was an “emperor-has-no-clothes” moment that prompted Senator Lisa Murkowski (Alaska) to admit she was considering not voting for Trump and suggest that other Senate Republicans felt the same way.

Remember Watergate?

The impeachment process against Richard Nixon began in the U.S. House of Representatives on October 30, 1973, following a series of high-level resignations and firings widely referred to as the “Saturday Night Massacre.” On May 9, formal impeachment hearings began, culminating July 27–30, 1974, when the Democratic-led Judiciary Committee approved three articles of impeachment, charging the president with obstruction of justice in attempting to impede the investigation; abuse of power by using the office of the presidency to unlawfully use federal agencies to violate the constitutional rights of citizens and interfere with lawful investigations; and Contempt of Congress by refusing to comply with congressional subpoenas.

Sound familiar?

Republican congressional leaders met with Nixon, informing him that his impeachment and removal were all but certain. Thereupon, he resigned the presidency on August 9, 1974, before the full House could vote on the articles of impeachment.

In the case of the United States v. Donald Trump, however, the full House voted to impeach him. In fact and indeed, he was impeached.

While lamenting white supremacy, police brutality, and a system that denigrates black Americans like George Floyd, demonstrations are “moments” of national consensus, in effect, about the role Trump has played and his culpability in inciting human rights violations.

Let’s hope that a number of senators will recognize and repent of their wrong-doing and complicity by remaining silent. Maybe they’ll, too, take a walk to the White House and bring an end to this dreadful mess.

Remember Martha Mitchell, the wife of U.S. Attorney General John Mitchell under President Nixon, who became a controversial figure with her outspoken comments about the government during the Watergate scandal? Nixon selected her husband to head the Committee to Re-Elect the President (CREEP) for his 1972 campaign. During the campaign, however, Martha Mitchell began complaining to the media that the campaign had engaged in “dirty tricks” to win the election.

Remember A Warning, last year’s Washington tell-it titled book? Written by “Anonymous,” who’s still a top White House insider, the candid 2019 exposé of the Trump administration authored by someone described as a “senior Trump administration official” was a sensational follow-up to an anonymous op-ed piece the NY Times published in September 2018. Many inside and out of government have played guessing games, trying to identify the author.

My own hunch? Kellyanne Conway.

The mother of four married to anti-Trump activist attorney George Conway, a conservative co-founder of the Liberty Foundation seeking to bring Trump to justice, she can’t be as dumb as she comes across; hopefully, there’s more sense and sensibility – patriotism – to her than meets the eye.

Remember, more recently, when Twitter began fact-checking and flagging Trump’s tweets for false, misleading, and/or potentially violence-provoking content … while also providing links to more objective and factual information?

These remembrances of things past prompt some conclusions:

“Black Lives Matter” must be more than a catch phrase to which we give lip service. Yet it hasn’t – nowhere nearly enough! – and now requires assertive declaration, assessing people beyond the color of their skin, where they come from, or their lingo and language.

For me, the people’s uprising is a beginning, a beacon of hope.

Actually, a glimmer to hold onto that hope still springs eternal!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwMVMbmQBug



Shared here are personal observations, experiences, and happenstance that actually occurred to us as we moved from the USA to begin a new life in Portugal and Spain. Collected and compiled in EXPAT: Leaving the USA for Good, the book is available in hardcover, paperback, and eBook editions from Amazon and most online booksellers.

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