Racing down the motorway at 120 k/h, their billboards beckon with familiar logos: McDonald’s, Burger King, KFC, Popeye’s, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell … with Dominos inching its way onto the turf.

In 2023, about 3,500 fast food franchises operate in Iberia. Surprisingly, perhaps, #2 Burger King in the USA is #1 in Portugal and Spain, with a total of 834 outlets in both countries–184 in the former, 650 in the later. For its part, MacDonald’s has a total of 775 franchises (580 Spain/195 Portugal). Rounding out the top three is Pizza Hut, with 829 “restaurants” (727/102). Not to be forgotten are the other three multinational companies: Dominos with 430 (370/60), KFC with 295 (249/46), and Taco Bell with 158 (142/16).

It’s enough to make your stomach rumble.

To be fair, many of these multinational operations are owned and operated by the Spanish and Portuguese, who also have their own fast food franchises that follow a similar mold.

Unlike the leisurely paced, hole in the wall, family-run places whose personalities we’ve come to cherish, the brand-name places are devoid of charm, character, and chat–except for mobile devices. The only thing positive that really can be said about them is they’re predictable in conformity, sameness, and — perhaps — nostalgic comfort. And, perhaps, that they deliver fast food faster if not better. After all, theirs are assembly line products.

Two Saturdays before Christmas, we were heading back from Spain to Portugal, stopping at Sevilla’s Costco en route to stock up on some necessities. We usually do our shopping first and then, before leaving, buy pepperoni pizza for lunch and chicken bakes to take with for dinner that night. The warehouse was a madhouse. Eyeing the six queues of humanity enmassed to order, pay, and take their food to no vacant tables, we estimated it would take at least an hour or more to buy and eat our food … assuming there were empty tables to be found. No way, José, was the food worth the wait. We chose, instead, to find someplace else to eat. We’d seen several signs pointing to this one or that.

Sure enough, a MacDonald’s, Burger King, and KFC all were nearby. We decided to eat at the Colonel’s where you order at a kiosk, computerized courtesy of AI: Choose your meal. Identify your fries (chips). Add toppings and garnishes. Opt for pre-packaged condiments. Select a beverage. Decide on a “compliment” (dessert). Confirm that everything is correct. Go back and make changes to your menu. Then tap “Order Complete.” All the details — and price — of your order are shown on the screen. Naturally, payment is made by debit or credit card. The plastic cards are waved over the reader, neither inserted nor swiped for a bit of intimacy. Out ejects a paper ribbon with your order and number. You notice that €0.01 has been added to your bill for a “single-use plastic” you’ve purchased. Is the charge for the bottle of water or the (plastic) cup?

Next, keep your eye on the screen over the service counter where digital numbers, like those found in government offices and health care facilities, are shown either as “in preparation” or “ready.” Your number flashes and you pick up your order, grabbing some napkins from the counter. The soft drinks (bad enough when bottled) are dispensed through machines mixing the syrup and carbonated water in front of your eyes. Are those colors and composition correct? Given its ingredients and how it’s prepared, the food itself is edible, even tasty … at least then and there.

In a nod to sustainability, gone are any plastic utensils. (At least the Iberian chains — The Good Burger, 100 Montaditos, Pomodoro, etc. — have the hospitality to provide tiny wooden forks … or toothpicks.) Who really wants to pick up fries with one’s fingers, after dipping them in squeezed out sauce?

Leaving, everything is properly disposed of, separating “organic” (food residue) from paper and plastics (i.e., water bottles) before ditching the remaining substances into designated refuse bins.

Maybe that’s the real drawback to these ubiquitous food franchises.

They’re dispensable.

/Bruce H. Joffe.